Yesterday in lockdown
A grocer
The shutters were closed and the goods were sold!
A voice came from outside
Is that parachute oil?
The shopkeeper spoke - yes!
A voice came from outside
Get out of the ass now!
-------------------------------------------------- -------------
A girl goes to the doctor after being bitten
and
Asks to remove the fly.
Doctor tells Ekad I'm simple.
I put honey on my hair.
and
He puts down the Tujya Puchit, the fly will sting him, then I will pull out the rooster.
The girl says fine, the doctor puts honey in it and puts it in
and
It starts raining loudly.
The girl screams and says, "Doctor, what are you doing?"
The doctor says the plan has been changed.
At the moment the fly is crushed.
😝😝😝😝😝
________________________________________
Mandamani drew a heart shape on the board and asked the children, "Tell me, what is this...?"
Guys: That's an ass..
Mandam: I'm not ashamed to say this.. wait, the principal is calling me..
Principal: Who is bothering Mandam?
Boys: Nobody sir..!!
Headmaster: Then who drew this picture of Gandhi on the blackboard..???
______________________________________
Pakya: Doctor, my love is a bit wrong...😩😩
Doctor: Come to pee?💦
Pakya: Yes...!
Doctor: Can you hit the baby?👙💦
Pakya: Yes...!
Doctor: Any more problems? 😨
Pakya: Nothing...!
Doctor: So what do you want to straighten and draw lines with a pencil?
Crazy lovers...!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😋
______________________________________
Bandya😍 :- Tanz Re Mora Nach Re Mora Naach im Mangowald"
Peacock:- You dance that boy.
😂😂😂😂
.
.
.
.
.
Bandya 😐 :- What are you doing ..
Dance Re Mora Dance in the Mango Forest Dance Re Mora Dance"
Black Black Cotton Pinjla Ray
The wind fought the clouds...
Peacock😬 :- Hm..did your ba make black cotton... Was ba a painter or an open lover.
Bandya 😤 :- Hey Zawani, please dance, don't fly at me.
If you don't dance, you'll bang your ass off Rand and make your feathers bloom... and then I'll stick the cotton up your ass. Then you know how the cotton turned black
Peacock :-....ewwwwww brother dance this stop. Near Chidalais Kashala
_____________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
Referee in international cricket
The
Given the status of "God".
goes
And our street cricket matches
In between, the “umpire” awards contracts and the batsman speaks immediately
"GO AWAY!" Her mother's face is like a blind lover. "Who made that referee...!"
___________________________________________________________
What thing do women have, that's round, on both sides of the body, it moves when the woman walks, and the name of that thing starts with B???
??
??
??
??
bangles!
Think carefully
___________________________________________________________
Marathi non-veg jokes for whatsapp
When you see me I get stiff.
.
.
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.
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'Self-esteem'
.
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When you laugh, the spray flies, my goodness
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.'joy from the heart'
.
.
put what you think in your mouth
.
.
.
.
"Grass of Generation"
.
.
If you're ashamed, you should both press,
.
.
.
.
.
.
'Mine'
.
and,
Feel like a move after you leave
hoch,
.
.
.
'Hand'
to say goodbye
Non Vegmessage and from me... not possible
____________________________________________________________
Marathi non veg funny jokes
Japanese couples talk about midnight sex...
Husband: Sutaki...
Ehefrau: Coins...
Navra: Toka unji rodi romi hoa yako ...
The woman sat on her knees and said: Mimi yoa nakodinda tinkuji...
Ehemann: Na miyu kina tim kouji...
Frau: Soo ki kini Erde...
Ehemann: Sako Titi Yanvi...
.
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Wife:
.
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Mmmmmm...
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Ehemann: Yechi Koba Nati.
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Wife:
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Look at the enthusiasm of the people.
There is nothing to understand onlySexRead the entire message word for word...
.
Improve yourselves bastards...
Put goals into work...!!!
School Non Veg Double Meaning Jokes
Master – Why is Rahul Gandhi Single?
Ganesha - The thing trusts the hand...
Marathi Chavat Non Veg Vinod
Guruji: Children, since the space for writing names in the scholarship form is small, you should write your names in short form instead of writing them in full.
For example, you should enter the name "Kishore Vilas Patil" as "K. V. Patil” write briefly.
Student: It will be difficult to write my name briefly, sir.
Guruji: Why? what is your name
Schüler: Purshotam Chirag Chate.
Guruji burned the form.
Boyfriend Girlfriend Marathi Non Vegetarian Joke
Friend – you are the moon of my life…!! Girlfriend - and you are my Neil Armstrong...,
friend - means ?
Girlfriend - the first guy to climb on me
____________________________________________________
Guruji: Sang Bar Ganu by biting a mosquito
Does AIDS come before Ganu: No Guruji... Guruji: Well done!
Now tell me why it doesn't happen?” Ganu: “Because Guruji Das is a man
are 'bite',
There are no 'Zawats'...
Yedzva asks what.
____________________________________________________
Essay on Lovedaya The word "love" is so strange, isn't it?
Lavada is a precious gift of nature.
The poor old man is always tired. So he doesn't sit idle when he comes out. In the cold he is always active. And when he wakes up, he doesn't belong to any father.
One's hair is short, one's hair is tall, and one's hair is crooked.
Love means Pennys, Cock, Dick in English and Nunnu in Lada.
It is an integral part of life, if there were no lavada there would be no world. There are two balls under the lavada. But they're not for play, and neither are Odonil's.
It feels soft due to the hair around the blade.
Depending on his mood, he changes his size, sometimes small and sometimes big, but when he gets up he doesn't sleep without moving.
Atapuchivery similar
He does something for her.
When Puchit enters, he gets heavenly bliss.
One of Lavadaya's good habits is that he wakes up first in the morning.
He doesn't need an alarm clock.
He respects girls very much, when he sees them he immediately stands up and salutes.
Girls also like him very much.
You play with him a lot.
They like to bounce up and down in the ball, sometimes he doesn't get up quickly because he's too tired, he spits when he's exercising.
Every morning he and his two goats go to bed
It works. No matter how much you talk about lavdaya, words won't do.
Everyone should have at least one friend in life. I love my boyfriend very much. Anyone who has a friend should pass it on or keep silent.
_________________________________________________________
People speaking DJ Chi procession
.
.
And Diwali should be celebrated without crackers.
.
.
.
Such people should be given a woman without a hole...
__________________________________________________________
Marathi Non Veg Ukhane
1) Our room will be decorated on the first day of the wedding...named after Rao
ass my oli...
2) father-in-law my noble husband my king,
Rao doesn't wake up.
Then the in-laws play the drums.
3) The flowers of Parijat fell beautifully.
takes the name Rao,
Drive at least once.
4) Feet slipped while walking over the embankment.
fuck our mothers,
That's when it hit me.
5) Wearing shorts while swimming in the sea,
They went in search and the rest took cover.
6) On summer days the well is our Atti,
My ass was busted every day.
7) After work, this happens while eating,
If you go into the room and look, the mother-in-law screams.
8) Sari left because she was in the mood,
It also began to dawn
I didn't even take off my panties.
9) My mother-in-law hugs me even though she is fat,
takes the name Rao,
You haunt me every day.
10) After drinking alcohol, they fall down,
Then what will Rao do?
The in-laws rise.
____________________________________________________________
Aajcha Suvichar Non Veg Marathi Jokes for WhatsApp
- ankle inflammation...
Longing for cocks....
And...
Movement in the friend's pocket in the group
I can't say when it will happen...!! - Today's tip bag...and girlfriend's pants...should only be removed in private
- The itchy knuckles... and the baby's dandruff... won't go away without rubbing
- layer on the head ... butIn courtVision
- One rupee of gold, one rupee of silver, the administrator takes the measure, Sunny Leone'sby Gandhi
- Mevni came and said I slept on the roof, when I woke up in the morning my beloved was on her lap.
________________________________________________________
Dirty Marathi Non Veg Witz
The girl sitting in the rickshaw to the rickshaw driver - "Drive slowly, my milk is running out."
Rickshaw - "Aren't you wearing a bra?"
Girl: The milk is in the box, dear.
________________________________________________________
A girl asks an old man
"How would you like to be in your time 10 10"?
Die alte Frau sagt: „Pori AamchavelayaThere was no way you could choke with lava in your mouth.
________________________________________________________
A bicycle dealer lets his wife sleep in a tub of water on Suhagatri.
Woman: - What are you doing?
Husband: - What can I do, I know where the keyhole is in the water.
________________________________________________________
Sometimes very scary thoughts come to my mind...like...
When I was a kid, I threw stones at dog-dog games...
He won't get the article, right?
_________________________________________________________
A woman chats on WhatsApp on the street with her left phone open.
People are watching but no one understands what to say...
Eventually 1 godman goes there and asks them... what's going on?
The woman suddenly regains consciousness and screams...
I think the ass boy will stay in ST!
_________________________________________________________
son i want to marry your daughter dad your salary is not even enough for her toilet paper.
Sohn - Bapre...!
So much Hagati ... then let it be
________________________________________________________
Herr: Janhvi Taat Kar.
Janhvi: nothing ha mr….
Mr: Your mother's ass...eat the plate
________________________________________________________
Once a woman is teaching children, Targotya asks the woman
"How women become children"
Woman - A fairy comes and carries the baby!
.
.
.
Gotya - Bai TiZayachiHas the system been shut down?
_______________________________________________________________
Tenant :- Hey owner, rats dance a lot at home... Landlord :- Hey....in a room rented for 1500 rupees, then why would surekha dance punekar?
Marathi Non Veg SMS-Witz
Woman: What... who are you talking to so softly?
Husband: With sister
Woman: Hey, why would you talk so quietly to your sister then?
Husband: Oh, not mine, I'm talking to your sister.
____________________________________________________
Wife: My chest hurts.
Husband: Show it to the doctor.
Woman: Shown.
Husband: What did the doctor say?
Wife: You said wow :D.
____________________________________________________
Instead of paying the guard
Give the boy a bundle of nets
all night
Stay home and take care of the house.
____________________________________________________________
baby to baby,
"What a great smile you have... how did your teeth shine so brightly?"
The boy says shyly - there's salt in my cow print..
_______________________________________________________________
Sakhu stood on the Ghat of Khandala, Sakhu stood on the Ghat of Khandala...
Bhiku came from behind and squeezed her chiku....
Phu Bai Phu, Fugdi Phu,
what are you tired of
Marathi Non-Veg SMS 140 characters
A boy questions a girl after taking off her panties.
Boy - darling, why don't you have hair on your Pucchi?
Girl - lavdaya ... did you come to "radiate" or to "bhang"?
________________________________________________
There was a question in the work…..give scientific reasons…..
.Don't sleep with a blanket over your head.
.One of the carts wrote the answer....... 'Because we don't know who is sleeping'... the Master kept shouting..
Comedy joke from Marathi without vegetables
Girl: Dad was an important thing.
Father: Don't speak.
Girl: I am one
Loves son but lives in America *Introduced from website*
Friends because of Facebook *He suggested me because of Skype * Whatsapp
The love has existed for 2 years.
Father : Really then* Twitter
Getting married in *Make my trip honeymoon in *Flip-Kart asked for Moole*
Last received in Gmail * If husband doesn't like it, sell it in Olx
Put!
Marathi Non Veg Jokes for Facebook
A terrible joke.
Beloved - I can't marry you...
girlfriend - what?
Priyakar - The family is against.
Lovers - who's home?
friend - wife and two children...
Jokes without vegetables in Marathi for WhatsApp
- RCB Cheergirl:- Lai Nachwal Bai!
Chimbs were drenched in sweat yesterday!!
A girl: I'm not wet.
Second Girl:-Why???
First:-I didn't wear it :D :P - Woman: “Doctor, I pee when four streams come out.
Doctor: "I'll check, pull up saree and go to sleep"
The doctor checks: "What happens if the liquid does not come out?"
Lady, the button of your shirt is in your butt!
Non-Veg-Marathi-SMS-Witze
„३०७_half_murder ३०२_full_murder
Don't make unnecessary movements
The name itself spreads peace
if_stabbed_else_direct_fire"
.
.
.
Those who post such useless statuses while cracking eyelashes on Diwali are cracking their ears with their hands.
- Anil and Anil's friend ate Shevpuri on the same plate... Anil looked into her eyes... Anil's friend shyly said "What are you looking at?"
Marathi Non Veg Witze 2015
Boy's Father - What will you do after the 12th?
Porgi-Bereit, B.B.A.
Bap - This B.B.A. What's up
Porgy - Ash on the left friend's bike.
The child is strong, the father is in a coma...
dirty jokes without vegetables in Marathi language
After I made a girlfriend
Mostly children
Understand that
.
.
.
There are Rs 100-150 worth of chocolates.
=============================================== ======================
New Marathi Non Veg Jokes
At a packed concert or on the bus, she sometimes becomes disobedient when sitting next to Madhemuli.
Jas Kaya, she is Priya Bapat and you
foundry
=============================================== ======================
Girl: when will we get married?
Son:- After I became an engineer.
Girl:- If you don't want this, tell me directly.
=============================================== ======================
Intelligence is like pants...must be there, not show.
=============================================== ======================
There was a lot of confusion in the neighborhood yesterday.
Ask for what you want.
I thought there would never be a chance.
Asked for the WiFi password.
=============================================== ====================
As Kushabhau walked through the crowd, he bumped into a girl.
Kushabhaun: I'm sorry.
Girl (sigh): Are your eyes open?
Kushabhau was scared and secretly followed her.
Meanwhile, a handsome young man shocked the girl.
He also said sorry.
Mulgi (Lajat): It is o. From.
Kushabhau (suppressed): Sorry, what was the spelling wrong???
=============================================== ====================
In the "cricket" of love, a "ball" called "propose" was thrown.
.
As soon as the girl's "gate" falls,
.
The girl's father said "no ball" and
.
.
The girl's older brother took advantage of the "free punch" to hack, hack, hack!
=============================================== =====================
Once my girlfriend invited me to her house,
I went to her house and rang the bell..
Her little sister opened the door, she was very beautiful. She smiled and said, "You are so smart
Now nobody is home. I'm alone, come in."
I smiled and went back to my bike...then her whole family came out and stuff
I was happy about my luck
Said...we like you.
.
.
.
.
..
.
...
Well what can I tell you
Von,
Mr. My bike is locked
Just the way I wanted to do it...!!
=============================================== =====================
Girl with Airtel 4G went to Joshi aunt's house in Pune....
And said, "Download it in front of me and show me
Mobile phone bill free for life"
aunt said
Show me the rice cooker in front of me.
I'll pay your bill for a while.
What kind of download competitions are held
Simple cooking does not come.
Will your girls be downloading for the rest of their lives?
Such a cover for this delicate delicate girl.
Babies still cry... even in 4G speed.
=============================================== =====================
Boy: Mom, these days the virus of love has spread to everyone, I'm infected too.
.
Mom: Baby don't worry I have a sandal that works as an antivirus.
=============================================== ===================
Boy - where are you??
The girl has dinner with mom and dad in the hotel, she is talking when she comes home.
Where are they
Boy - the place you eat at, right?
There in your back row
I grow rice...
tell me if you have rice
=============================================== ===================
A girl is standing on a bus stop.
.
1 two-car carriage in front opposite her
Throw,
.
Back to the root comes the spinner,
Oh, do you recognize Bolo???
.
The girl won't know
.
Cart: I'm not done with you yet.
=============================================== =====================
Once at school, a woman asks to write an essay about a friend...
.
.
But also in English.
.
.
.
.
Our warehouse is standing
.
.
And Baina says:- "Bai....What is the English word for 'Fukni'?"
=============================================== ====================
If, upon entering the house on the porch, you see a pair of delicate women's slippers,
So,
No man shall enter without his hair being plucked out...
Sanskar ho....what else :D .
=============================================== ======================
Friend - Hello darling.. where are you?
Girlfriend - Oh come to Pune..
Phoenix Mall Madhe,
Saw a pair of blue jeans from 2000
Now it's cool, where are you?
Friend - I stand behind you here at Gandhi Chowk in Islampur.
Even after arguing for half an hour, if that shopkeeper doesn't sell those 200 pairs of jeans for 150,
tell him my name...
he is your friend
=============================================== =====================
!!..Engineer's thoughts..!!
I've come to a point in life that I don't understand.
.
.
.
Porgi Patvus Tante
=============================================== =====================
panchnama of honor...
Girl (Makyala): Look at your hair….
It seems that grass has grown on your head.. !!!.....
Makya: A blanket.
How can this buffalo stand near me?
Corn Rock... Girl Shocks!
=============================================== ============================
In the morning the wife asks her husband for the newspaper...
.
Husband: How backward are you?
.
How far has science progressed and you're still asking about newspapers...???
this is my tab...
The woman takes the tab and he kills the cockroach.
.
.
Husband unconscious...
Meaning: Do what the woman asks without giving her head
Give, keep your intelligence for the office only!
=============================================== ===========================
What is a "star" that...
Lives on the floor
and
In a few days...
Go to heaven...???
.
.
.
.
Mathara: D
===================================
A sign on a candy store in Puneri...
"Here you are - cuter than your sister-in-law ...
And you'll get spicy food when your wife..."
=============================================== =========================
Bai taught grammar in class.
Woman: Let's write Tukaram and show it.
Bandu: Bai, is Tukaram's "you" the first or the second?
The woman hit Bandu.
Bandu still doesn't know why the woman got so angry.
=============================================== ===========================
Today he installed WhatsApp for his wife for the first time
And on whatsapp
Your first message came...
..
...
Come and take the sanding box home with you.!!! .
...
.The eyes were full! .....
FREUND - Janu Me Tula 7 Janam Prem Kareen.
FRIEND - Shut up!
GIRLFRIEND - Relax and be free :D
These girls should also get a little Bharat Ratna.
sleeps next to his mother
Chat with friend!
____________________________________________________________
Junge: Zavu Deshil?
Girl: Will I think about it tomorrow?
.
.
.
.
.Looking for my love below now?
She said she will tell tomorrow
____________________________________________________________
Feet with socks for two or four days
Become white too
.
.
.
.
.
.
. But for life
The gun is black with pants on
____________________________________________________________
Zavade Witze in Marathi
this is my dream
will see you
If you,.
You will take off your clothes..
.
.
that you dropped
on the rope
To dry...
.
.
And you will catch
in your hands
mine
.
.
.
hand... and say
Me for you
Mine are distributed
.
.
hands
.
.
But take mine now
.
.
happiness
.
.
.
and give me yours
.
.
Any tension
.
.
.
.
Then I open
slow yours
.
.
.
A pair of eyes
.
.
.
.
.
and say
look how much
I am big
.
.
.
Geist
.
.
.
Then me
They picked up both your feet
And put mine in
.
.
.
Land!!!
.
.
Frieden...??
.
Did you get what you wanted..??
.
Satisfied?
.
Bhenchod It's people like you that make the mother of romantic messages shine...
__________________________________________
Onkya:- Hey Harsha, your wife's symptoms don't seem to be getting better. Always smile at me since the honeymoon...
Harsha:- Do you know why she's smiling?
Omkya :- No man... Tell me!
Harsha:- During the honeymoon, she asked... "Did you oil up someone's ass?"
i said your name
__________________________________________
One day a king will come to Budha Peth
Rande found out...
He took out a loan of six thousand rupees and painted the room well...
And the king came to Zawa and took Zawa as a reward
Put "four anna".
This whore's ass got hot right there.
The house was painted with a loan of six thousand and the king of Zavun kept four annas...
But she was smart...
When the king left, she took four coins and told everyone.
I'm auctioning because the king is keeping an item that won't be stolen from me. Bid...
Well, if the king says he held it, he will just have held it...
The very first beat of ten thousand...
Rand - "Can't Afford"...
"Fifty thousand.."
Edge - No...
to the king
It is known by the guard
"What's happening"
Priest--
"King, you're auctioning what you kept, that prankster" ....
The object is neither shown nor told, held in the fist...
Fearing that if people knew he had only paid four annas, the king ran away saying:
Hey Pill
My darling,
"Give credit but don't show anyone"....
Since then this saying...
....Zhakli Muth Savvalakhachi....
-------------------------------------------------- ----------------
Babanya: Do you remember Gayatri from your class?
Subhanya: Yes, how tall was she?
Babanya: She is my wife now..
Subhanya: Are her eyes still big?
-------------------------------------------------- ----------------
A 23-year-old 👱🏻♀girl 👶🏻 became pregnant when her 👵🏻mother found out about it..
👵🏻Mother (😡screams angrily): “Kay g e bhavane?
😞 No shame?
What sin is lurking in the stomach?
Where do you come from?
who was the dog
Call him!"
After half an hour a 🚗Rolls Royce stops in front of this house..
and
A 👨🏻man in an expensive 👔suit gets out.
👨🏻Manus: "In fact, this mistake is not worth apology!
But I'm still sorry..
Because I can't marry her..
But..
I give you my word
When 👧🏻 a daughter is born
So I give her 2 malls, a bungalow and 2 crore rupees..
When a boy is born
So I will give him 2 factories and 5 crore rupees.
But..
If I Accidentally Miscarry What Should I Do?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mother: No..
Why are you talking like that..
That's what happened
In order to
Bring her back!!
----------------------------------
- Hindi Non Veg Funny Jokes
- NeuMarathi jokesClick here to read